Two days ago, I OFFICIALLY became a lesbian. I mean, I have always had that quality of going, Oh, she’s fit, Oh, Emma Watson is Soooo beautiful, oh Natalie Portman… but it’s always been more like, Oh I want to look like her. Until I met this really good looking girl at College called Maddy, and formed a little obsession with her, which I obviously made her full aware off, and of course that little affair of me pretending to faint each time I see her, and genuinely admiring her ass, face, hair, skin, style EVERYTHING thinking… SLAM! GOD she is fit… She’s gonna be a STAR, if she moved over trying to kiss me I don’t think I would push that saucy sausage away if you know what I mean.
I was walking on my way to a rehearsal for a musical I’m in, at Angel, I was walking from the tube stop, just listening to Stephen Fry’s Harry potter and the Order of the Phoenix audiobook that my boyfriend so nicely got for me, after listening to the cheap version by Jim dale for a year it was quite a treat, although I got used to him and liked it alot after a while. ANYWAYS, all of a sudden…. Someone is coming towards me, there’s people everywhere walking hither and tither, and I slowly realise… that it’s none other than the most BEATIFUL fit amazing looking girl from one of my favourite movies, The Perfume!!
RACHEL HURD WOOD! Ohhhh MYYYY God!
There she was… jogging, listening to her ipod, like any other human being walking this earth, like an angel in Angel gracing us with her presence, sharing her illuminating glow with us mere mortals, disguised as a very attractive blonde girl with no make-up and a nice ass. WOW. My heart started to race SO fast when I realised it was her… She jogged past me, and the blessed wind she created with her mild speed swept me away, and I stood there, glued to the spot… and I’m not kidding. I didn’t move, except for turning around to watch her jog down the pavement passed the ignorant crowd minding their own business… FOOLS!
My jaw dropped, and I laughed… madly.. people walking by thought I was having a fit or something, a woman with a pram stopped and asked if I was ok, and I was like, “yeah, sorry… yeh… just realised I forgot something…” And as I walked in to the rehearsal room, my heart still jumping up and down inside my chest, texting all my friends who’s seen that film, I just HAD to tell the cast about it… the ignorant silly billies had not seen The Perfume however. WTF, I know.
But. I think I might as well tell you ladies who admire my looks and personality so much that you would love to marry me that, I DO have a boyfriend. And unless Rachel Hurd-Wood dyes her hair red again and proposes to me, It’s not gonna happen….. Hah. x