New LA adventures

Back to the city of Angels… 
Where they make GREAT movies. Like one of my all time film loves… TITANIC…
Where talented artists have been corrupted in to doing things they don’t want to do…
Where superstars are as beautiful as angels, and stars fall further down, because they fly so high…

Where Young beauty is smothered and led to the wrong path… With some exceptions… 

Here on the Hollywood boulevard, the walk of fame, I found her. Strewn outside a rank McDonalds, being downtrodden by tourists, paparazzi’s, actors and homeless people.

But she is still beautiful. What a star. Look at her shining. Marilyn Monroe…

The colourful and crazy streets of this W.E.I.R.D place, is well, I gotta admit. Like no other. I have never really been that attracted to coming here. As a young aspiring actress, I always found the English actors and movies more appealing, as it’s more… realistic. In the way that the people are more real, more imperfect. Crooked teeth, chubby, unpolished, wonky, unique and rough.

But even the British stars shine bright here… STING! (I know you can’t really see his name, but you get the point.)

HAH! in your face to you people who always laughed at me when I got Patrick Swayze and David Hasselhoff mixed up. Their stars are right NEXT to each other! There’s gotta be a connection…?!

Alotta homeless people and sleepless tourists laying around… EVERYWHERE.

The famous Chinese theatre, where all those hand and footprints are. Honestly though, it’s tiny. I thought it would be MASSIVe and epic, but to be honest it was pretty small, So I’m starting to think that they’re gonna have to give the actors smaller concrete squares to write on. Or there’ll be no room left for the future generations!

Robert… yes… Robert sir. Robert Downey Jr.
Oh Meryl. 
Oh Meryl! We have the same sized hands!
Haha Arnold. That was funny.
Oh my god! Gene! Nice to see you! Oh, your holy footprints that danced away… SO good to see you. 
Hold on… HOLD ON! JUDY! JUUUUUUDY! JUDY! Over here! Yes! It’s me! Jasmin! JASMIN! The girl who used to play ‘The wizard of Oz’ past bedtime, listeing to your voice on the CD player…. The girl who wanted to be like you! 
Oh Judy… Your feet… they are tiny! Oh no… you little tragic starlett. One of the most talented women that ever walked this earth. Tragic Heroine. 
Oh hey guys!!! Daniel! Rupert! Emz! So good to see you here.. Yeah, I remember this moment. I was watching it streamed live on the fansite. I was so proud. Oh, you’ve got a cool one, with your wands imprinted.. 
This is CRAZY.
Ooh. HE looks crazy.
What? What is going on…? So confusing…

Oh Charlie!!! There you are…! Who’s that you’re with? Liza… Oh my god, Liza you look…

Oh…. Liza. That’s eh… quite an arse. Been a while since you danced? Well to be fair, I probably wouldn’t look much better in that costume. 
Gotta go back to the hostel. 
And it aint gonna be in no convertible car…
Dear God. I just wanted to say… What a beautiful palette you used that night. Santa Monica looked truly beautiful, and it made my Hawaiianaching heart feel a bit more at home.
Oh and thanks for sending some awesome travel buddies my way!

BECAUSE WHAT WOULD I DO WITHOUT THEM!?

Oh Ryan and his silly short shorts.
And Andrej with his furrowed brow and Swartzenegger voice.

Let’s go and check out Malibu beach! Yeah..! That sounds cool Andrej. I Think that’s where Baywatch was filmed. Really? Oh, that’s pretty cool. Malibu Barbie. Yeah that too Ryan. 

Ryan. Come on. Pull them back down.

We’re here! Get off! Get off the bus! Oh, wow, oh… well.. what…? Is.. is this it? 

This reminds me of Blackpool. But not as nice.
Yeah. Me too. But I am definately going for a Swim. No matter HOW cold it is.
WHERE’S PAMELA!? I don’t… I’m sorry guys. I was wrong. I don’t think it was here they filmed Baywatch.

Maybe if we go further down there..? Further that way it might be nicer….

Malibu  beach…. Baywatch… Hasselhoff… Where is it… the place I thought…

Fine. Let’s just set up camp here. -Well, I’m going for a swim. Come on.

It looks very cold. Nah, We’ll be fine.

Let’s Gooooo!

Eh… EXUSE me… but this is NOT good enough. Tut tut. I mean… eh.. I’ve just been to HAWAII. And this is WAY too cold.

Okay that was FREEZING. Horrible. 

Well at least now we can have that $4 all-you-can-eat-pasta we’ve been talking about and looking forward to all day!

There’s no mince innit. What’s that? Mince. What does that mean? Oh, meat. No meat, great.

HOMOEROTICA
Nah, full bellies that’s all.

Let’s go play pool then! I’ll smash you both!
Okay, why not. I’ll play you. 
Oh, I won. Told you I was good at this.

I’m good too! Oh, where’s the ball…?
It’s not up there Jasmin.
Hey guys, guys. I know a place… let’s go to the West side comedy club! Yeah! It’s great! Only £1 admission! 
Funny women
Funny men
Fun times with the fun club.
The Killer has joined. FIELD TRIP!

My name is Andrej. I had this idea for this exursion. But If it’s shit, it’s not my fault, like with Malibu beach. And no matter what, we are NOT getting of at Fairfax!

Oh this is great! How much does it cost? $0. WHAT!? FREE! Woop woop! 

What is it called again Andrej? The Getty Centre. With art. and views. And stuff…

I think I’m going to change this a bit… Just… er… drag that a bit further out…. there. That looks better don’t you think? Oh I’m Andrej. I’m so big and strong. Look at my ARNOLD ARMS!

Oh my name is JASMIN… I like to play TITANIC… WhEREVER I go…! 
POSE!
We’re still alive. We have not been murdered. 
I love old paintings…. This reminds me of the National Gallery in LONDON… bla bla bla Hawaii… Bla bla bla London… bla bla bla Hawaii
I like to be in people’s faces…. I’d like to lick his beard

Oh so funny

The Killer aproves of Andrej’s asian tourist poser face.

Three lovely fellas.
Equus, anyone?

Ryan… haha, I DARE you to go over and… oh. Yeah. That… STOP. Hold it, let me take a photo.

Beauty and the beast anyone?
Yeah.. that’s what the youth hostel beds look like too.
FARMERS MARKET BABY!
(In Manc accent) Exuse me lady, how much for one orange please?

Ryan had a massive food rage fit. Now, everything is fine.
PUBCRAWL!

Exuse me ladies…? May we offer you some salt and Pepper? I’m tired now. Let’s go home…
No, Ryan! Keep them on… this is AMERICA. You can get arrested for that.
Game of Pool…?

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