I can’t have it all

THE LUCKY DUCK COMPLAINS….

As a DIEHARD Harry Potter fan, I am finding myself in Orlando, Florida, where the highways, hotels and restaurants surround you in a confusing and surrealistic and falsely welcoming manner. The area is basically owned by Disney, with the fake houses, and the fountains and grand façades, with the sole purpose of getting you in to Disney World and Universal studios, spend as much money as possible, and get out of there as soon as possible, to make way for the new people. It’s hot and humid, it’s expensive and greasy, I don’t understand where the real people live, because the citizens here seems to be hotel owners, hostel runners, taxi drivers, Disney “Cast members” or waiters. There are plenty of lakes, but you can’t swim in them, because they have gators in them (yes alligators) and they’re for decoration purposes only. Everything here, is basically here… because of Disney.
What would Walt Disney think of this, the way it is now? Surely it was all in good intention. And you can see the joy in the children’s eyes. But the slave labour and extremities behind it… It’s dark. It’s really dark. 
Cast members are severely underpaid, and are under strict rules and regulations, all packed together in the dorm-like appartments, with strict security, no cycling, skateboarding or rollerblading around the neighbourhood, because ‘SAFETY BEGINS WITH ME’
This is the REALLY dark bit about it, the health and safety is extreme, which is a good thing, but their policies are NOT. Now, several people have died in Disney world, but NO ONE, has EVER been declared dead on site. What does that make you think…? Do they drag the bodies outside and THEN declare them dead? NO ONE DIES IN DISNEY! NO ONE GETS HURT! Literally, backstage, where the Castmembers are cattled, to change in and out of costumes, and shoved on to a shuttle bus back to their homes, the signs are everywhere. NO ONE GETS HURT. 

 
I mean, it’s a beautiful place… And it does it’s job when it comes to the kids, but it’s so… Evil corporation-like. All they really seem to care about is money. Surely this wasn’t mr. Disney’s intention. But it’s all about facade.
                                           
The Disney princesses parade around the streets and restaurants, with their perfect costumes, perfect make-up and almost robotic good mood. They really ARE Disney princesses! The girls LOVE them… but they are paid VERY little, and the waiters in the restaurants of Epcot, they come there for ONE reason. The Tips. You can make LOADS of money at the restaurant, after about SIX months of $3-4 an hour, if you’re lucky, you will be transferred to being a waiter. But they are NOT allowed to give ANY tips to the Princesses.
                 
Now, my experience at EPCOT, Disney, was wonderful. My generous wonderful friend paid for our meal, (which is VERY expensive, high-speed and top quality, and service is impeccable) and the different countries are great, Very generic and Disneyfied of course, but it does the job. Good to educate the Americans a little bit about the rest of the world. (Well, only Marocco, France, Italy, Mexico, China, Japan, Norway, USA, Germany and Great Britain.)

Now.
Yesterday, I was on my way to Universal studios, to go and see The Harry Potter world. I was SO excited, even though I was extremely low on my dough, and faced the reality of not being able to afford a wand, or maybe even a meal, but perhaps at least, a butterbeer! I got there, paid the taxi. Walked through the endless ramble of giftshops, restaurant and flashy colourful crap, got to the gate, and realised I had forgotten my $100 bill in my trouser pocket, at my friends house. I was 9 dollars short. And had to go back home. My friend was working, and I had gotten the wonderful news (NOT) That my friends FRIEND’s credit card payment to my plane ticket had been declined, so we had to book a new ticket with a different company bla bla bla, just loads of complicated things. So I went back to the hostel, (had spent $50 on taxi back and forth by then) Paid the Hostel for another night, and realised I would NOT indeed be able to go the next day… (today) Because I can’t afford the taxi back and forth, AND the $96 dollar entrance ticket, AND a shuttle to the airport, AND luggage check in etc etc… So.. Now, by the generosity of the Hostel owner, I am resting here, he fixed me a shuttle at 6 today, as I can’t afford another night at the hostel. So I’m off to a GREAT and exciting day at the Orlando airport, sleeping over, then FINALLY off back home to DARLING EUROPE!!!

 THe TRUE agony, is knowing that I am SO close… This WHOLE day I have been doing NOTHING but worry about money, sweating, thirsting, starving, afraid to spend money incase I get in trouble at the airport with something…  While I could be… in Hogsmeade drinking a cold butterbeer.

SOMETHING I’VE DREAMED TO DO FOR SO LONG
But COME on Jasmin. Get a grip. I have lived in paradise, with the best people, having fun, going on adventures, I spent some fun days in LA, I auditioned at the famous Groundlings school, (which was the purpose of the whole long stay in LA) and I’ve visited my dear friend and seen EPCOT! COME ON!
-What? how did the audition go, you say?
Well I’ll tell you. I’m at the farmers marked with my dear LA bum chums. We’re having food, and I am just waiting for the time to pass, while I nervously think of what the audition is going to be like. THEN, I realise it’s time, and I walk and Walk and WALK down the streets of Hollywood, past CBS and other scary places, and down the LOOONG street to the Groundlings theatre, where I wait outside with other auditionees.

                          
And the teacher takes us to another venue where we have a BLAST doing improvised exercises and fun games, and talk and stuff… you know the drill.

And I GENUINELY did NOT know how it went. I was scared I might have said the wrong thing, was I unfocused, was I as funny as the other REALLY funny people..? Scary… Haven’t auditioned for AGES.

And I land in Florida. I meet my friend. She wheelchairs me to the car (yes I was in a wheelchair because of my TERRIBLY damaged toe) We get to hers. I check my mail. I see there, an email from The Groundlings. My heard LEAPS. Then SINKS. Because I KNOW, it’s IMPOSSIBLE…. And I read it. Oh god, It’s fine. It’s FINE. It was a great experience.
Your audition result: PASS.

OHHH MYYYY GOOOD!
Yes, ladies and gentlemen! I GOT IN…

TO BE CONTINUED

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One Comment Add yours

  1. Anonymous says:

    Sad and coolCongrats a lot, and lots of luck !!

    Like

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