So a very good friend of mine called me in the middle of the night rather upset, as he felt like he’d lost his mojo, very little confidence, and that he had lost a job that meant a hell of a lot to him.
What do you do in that situation? What do you say?
Getting fired is always a big blow and super scary. In his case, he only made one little mistake, but as the company he was working for was owned by a huge corporation, they had strict policies, and even though his manager was sad to let him go, there was no way around it. My friend happened just have gotten a promotion, after working very hard, and I know how much this job meant to him. A LOT. I have never met anyone (Who’s not an actor) who talks that much about their job… And I respect that so much, no matter what your job is, you should be engaged in it, because if you are miserable, do something about it!
So in this case it feels like there’s nothing that you can say or point out that makes it better, but after I had a chat with him, following my instincts and trying to ensure him that he’s gonna be fine, I tried to find some ways I could make him feel better.
- For yourself, tell other people you know the story and hear their reactions, maybe ask for their advice, and you might get some good things to say that you didn’t think of yourself, or they might have examples of a similar situation, that ends well.
- Think of great things you can text your friend and… “Hi!!! I am going to text you annoying and encouraging texts EVERYDAY until you beg me to stop because that is what friends do!”
- Sense out what is the biggest issue is that is bothering your friend, self-esteem, financial security, ambitions, depression, and keep it in your mind as an underlining theme while talking to your friend and addressing issues with them.
- It’s a cliche, but cliche’s come from somewhere, so, even though it’s hard to believe and annoying, it does tinkle a little bell of hope when you say things such as, “if it’s meant to happen, it will happen” , and “Things usually happen for a reason, and I’m sure something great is coming your way.”
- MAKE’M Laugh! It’s always good to laugh and slowly but surely it will bring back some joy back to their everyday’s and will help them find their mojo again. Whether it’s sending silly and funny links to videos, watching funny movies or telling them pathetic and disastrously embarrassing stories that reminds them that shit happens -to everyone.
- TIME. Your friend will need time, time to gain confidence, motivation and structure in their lives, so while giving them time to relax, de-stress, also keep them active, suggest activities, non-work related and work-related, job hunting online, exercising, hobbies, new adventures, and be available and SPEND time with them, so your friend doesn’t feel like a loser.
- Introduce them to fun work-related TV shows, such as The Office, Parks and Recreation, Mad men, Work related etc. and fun motivating movies that tell the story about a positive journey from the bottom to the top. This is a comforting thing to have, takes your friend on a journey, and might encourage them to strive for success while keeping them in tune with a workplace environment. Sorta. Kinda.
- Figure out and discuss legal issues and recommendations so that the next step is easier, and so that when the time comes for an interview, your friend knows what terms to use and how to handle the issue smoothly and honestly, to then move on and focus on the positives.
- Encourage Skill development/improvement! It’s a good idea to while having the time to do this, perhaps learning a new skill that your friend can add on to their CV, research what skills are valued in the job market your friend is looking for, and perhaps subtly suggest that you could start this activity/course together.
- The obvious one, insurance, tell your friend, your ready to listen, you have a sofa they can sleep on, you have their back, you can lend them money, you believe in them and you are there for them the whole time.
Can’t go wrong with that? Any additional advice from anyone is highly appreciated, and lets just cross our fingers that our friends get a BETTER JOB, and are MORE appreciated, and HAPPIER, and gets a HIGHER SALARY!