I don’t often write about very personal matters, nor do I often write things about the severe subjects of Sexual abuse, pedophilia or rape. But today is a very special day, and as the person whom I am writing this about is brave and strong enough to present herself to the world the way she does, I feel that I can voice her and celebrate her online too.
This is my niece. In 2008, I lost my dear brother, and she lost her father. She was around ten years old, and I knew life was going to keep getting harder for her as she grew older, and like all others look to their relations and parents for their identity and history.
Around the funeral of my brother, the difficulties with my nieces mother, hereby called ‘COW’ began to escalate. She was being difficult and spiteful and I was informed by my niece of all the terrible things Cow had said about her father. And how little Cow had informed her on my brothers illness, he was Schizophrenic. Cow was seeing another man at the time, and this man will hereby be called the ‘Monster’, Cow married Monster, and Monster became my nieces step father. Both Cow and Monster made decisions around the death of my brother which were shocking and traumatic for my niece, but I didn’t really hear of this until my niece lost the feeling of loyalty to Cow, and was brave enough to speak up.
Anyway, years went by, and my niece went through several changes in outer appearance and posture. She blossomed however, intelligently and creatively, but was restricted by strict rules, house-arrests and curfews. As I grew closer to this cool person, my niece, I began to worry that there was more going on behind locked doors, then a very strict stepfather. She started leaking information here and there, force feeding my niece and her little brother, disciplinary violence, how she had to do a lot of housework, and Cow lying to us about a whole bunch of things. There were several incidents that were very severe, enough to call Social services, but we were scared of loosing her, me and my mother that is. So we would thread carefully around Cow and Monster, and also around my niece who was loyal and obedient, but utterly depressed.
Over two years ago I started slowly prodding her to confess what was going on, and it took a whole year before she told me everything. How when she was around ten/eleven years old, Monster and Cow had decided that my niece was ‘Sex Mad’, judged by the fact that they had discovered that she was sexually curious, like most young people her age. And they decided that Monster would have ‘Talks’ about this until the phase had passed. These hour long talks turned in to ‘instructions’ and for several years my niece was being physically instructed in Sexuality and sexual intercourse, by Monster, without Cow knowing. At one point my niece had enough and broke off, and declared that she wanted nothing to do with Monster, and that she didn’t want him to make decisions for her anymore, only Cow. And somehow it worked, for a while. Living in a house with a man, or a monster who IGNORED her and her friends completely wasn’t very pleasant, but she was never touched or spoken to by him again. Until in later years, when she had a complete anxiety and hyperventilation attack and Cow stood by doing nothing, while Monster basically saved my nieces life with basic CPR and First aid help. The lack of care from Cow at that moment and after, was another wake up call for my niece, and the respect and love faded.
As soon as my niece told me this, we took action, we told all the important people, including authority, and now, a YEAR later, my niece is bravely facing Monster and COW in court. Cow is standing by her husbands side, EVEN though my niece told her, and he admitted to it in front of her, Cow is still sharing a bed with Monster.
So where ever you are, who ever you are, if you read this. If you read this today, know that Yesterday she faced him in court, and he was smiling and rolling his eyes at her, and tomorrow Cow will witness against her own daughter, and my niece will stand up against them. For all the children out there who are being sexually abused, for all the children out there who are being BETRAYED by their parents. For my niece, who is strong, beautiful and has a great sense of humor, if you are religious or not, pray or send good vibes her way. I am witnessing tonight on Hawaii time, over Skype. May your thoughts be with us.