Knocked down a little

Sometimes… You have bad days. Where you loose sight of the goal, you doubt yourself, and anything anyone can say can break you down. Lately I’ve been feeling like that, for a few days, I needed a good cry pretty much every day, and It’s been hard to think positively and keeping up that confidence. IMG_6441Especially within art, like performance and comedy, you can’t really measure the results, you can’t count the goals you scored, how many right answers you got, how fast you ran or how much money you made (well you know). You can only really trust yourself, as much as what other people think, not everyone is going to like what you like or like what you do. I have to trust that some people will get me, and like me for what I am and what I bring. Sexism - abortion - pro choice - politics - work teacher - gender equalityAlso, sometimes you meet people that just tip you over the edge, with their strong opinions, and people that just clearly don’t give a shit about gender equality and that just tiptoe around the edge avoiding getting in trouble, but clearly emulates this superior sexist attitude. IMG_6540And then it’s that thing about being “poor” as in, broke, in debt, scraping by month by month, which is my choice I know and I am for the most part fine with it, but sometimes it just SUCKS that I can’t just go out and get an overpriced delicious Starbucks coffee like my coworkers, or Forever 21 white fur coat 2015 winter sale black fridayGo shopping on Black friday and enjoy those crazy sales, or even treat yourself just a little bit to a little something. Most of all, that Rick and I can’t really go out and enjoy all the amenities around us, or go out to have lunch, or dinner or see a movie. acting Agency  rejection Letter Then, finally, some days you get a message that cheer you up a little, no it’s not someone wanting to put me on their books or anything, but someone, a person, who sees a lot of talent every day, who takes the time to write to ME and say something nice. He for she DM TwitterAnd then, this amazing organisation that I love, and follow on Twitter, contact me personally and want to use something I WROTE. That made me feel great! IMG_6587THEN! I finally get an email, that at least shows some interest, and I feel like there is a chance again. I feel like I am worth something again, that I am talented and interesting again. And even if it doesn’t lead to anything, it’s a reminder, YOU ARE NOT SHIT! KEEP GOING! IT’S GONNA HAPPEN! BE YOURSELF AND DON’T GIVE A CRAP WHAT EVERYBODY THINKS ABOUT YOUR STUFF> SOME PEOPLE WILL LOVE IT!IMG_6589And our colleagues (none of them the previous mentioned sexist douchebag) get together as a team and decide to go out together. Korean BBQ Los Angeles we went to a Korean BBQ and had all sorts of delicious foods and talked about all sorts of stuff, and had a meeting, so we could be paid for our time. It was just what I needed, a treat that didn’t rob me blind, surrounded by friendly people, forgetting all my worries. IMG_6593Literally everyone I work with is Hispanic, and I so wish I could speak Spanish. They are so cool. And I was so happy. I feel better already. Here comes the weekend, so I’ll recharge, start again and get back to feeling confident, brilliant and ready for every day!


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